Holidays are always the hardest and Christmas is the pinnacle of pain.
The joys that used to fill this house now just seem sort of vacant.
The tree is up…big deal.
It’s missing all of Eric and Jena’s handmade ornaments hanging off its fake, lighted limbs.
No Christmas dishes are out.
No Christmas cookies are baking in the oven.
No Christmas cards will be written.
No, I’m not a Ba-Humbug kind of person, I just don’t care anymore.
It’s just that Jena took the magic with her.
If you listen carefully, you can hear her yelling at me right now.
“Mom, get a grip!”
“Where’s the Christmas music?”
“Where’s the Santa sugar cookies?”
“And where’s my glittered pine cone I made in second grade?”
She’d be so angry with me for the way I’m acting. She’d also be bugging me which present was hers under the tree; holding each one up, shaking, guessing…
Yeah, here come the tears….
“Mom, There’s NO CRYING at Christmas!”
One morning in December of 2007 I woke up from a “Jena” dream. Jena was shaking a wrapped present and said, “I just know this is my favorite gift, ever!” When I asked her what she meant, she smiled and told me I’d figure it out. Then I woke up.
Great…riddles at Christmas…from Jena.
Turns out, I figured it out and I wouldn’t dare let a Christmas go by without a present for my daughter-especially her favorite gift ever.
What’s inside, you ask?
Love.
Jena once told me, “When you see love, you’ll see me.” I believe her. I know for certain that we take our hearts with us when we leave this world and that love transcends.
So, back to the ‘Jena Gift’… for two years now at Thanksgiving, my niece and nephew and I wrap an empty box and leave a slit at the top. Then between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve our whole family engages in as many random-acts-of-kindness as possible.
Here’s the catch: they can’t tell a soul-it’s a secret.
Then we write down all our random-acts-of-kindness on an index card, like we are addressing it to Jena, and slip each card in the wrapped box.
On Christmas Eve, when we are all gathered around the Christmas tree at my in-laws, we read them out-loud to Jena, it’s her favorite gift, ever. It’s giving of yourself, it’s giving of your time, it’s giving of your love.
She is forever with us. We want her to know we still go “shopping” for her to find her that perfect Christmas gift.
She loves presents, so feel free to join us in the gift-giving!
CLICK HERE to see HOW to receive a free signed copy of BEYOND BREATHING
EDITORS NOTE: This blog was written last year (2009) but it made such a wonderful impact to our family Christmas Eve it would be such an honor for Jena to do it again this year…Love, it’s the greatest gift.
I will post the winner on Beyond Breathing Facebook page Christmas Day and send the book shortly thereafter.
Sherry Lynn Hicks says
My random acts will be thought of with your daughter in my head and heart this Christmas….I
will make it so, love just goes on and on….
Love,
Sherry
Anonymous says
That is a beautiful way to remember Jena and to brighten up another's holiday season ! Since my husband died 11 years ago , we hang his stocking each year. We put an angel peeking out of the top of it… and there are little pieces of paper inside that have Christmas wishes or thoughts for him . We add to them every year. We cant stop time from passing or holidays from coming, but you can find ways to bring Jena into each new day with you. Random acts will be free flowing … and so will love for your family ! ~ Margie
georgesladek says
MY NAME IS GEORGE SLADEK.
I'M A CZECH ARTIST/PRODUCER LIVING IN ST LOUIS.
MY UNDERSTANDING IS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR MUSIC FOR YOUR MOVIE.
I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF WRITING A TITLE SONG FOR "BEYOND BREATHING".
THESE ARE THE LYRICS… CONTACT INFORMATION BELOW.
I PLAN TO RECORD THE SONG TOMORROW.
I can’t help but think of you
One thing that I know is true
I’ve come to see…Love goes beyond breathing
We can’t change what’s meant to be
We just live with destiny
Now I believe…Love is beyond breathing
If love goes beyond breathing…You’re always in my heart
If love goes beyond breathing…That’s just the place it starts
If love lives forever…Someday we’ll be together
As long as I breathe…You’re a part of me
As long as my heart is beating…Love goes beyond breathing
I look at the stars tonight
Now and then I see your eyes
Here’s what I find…Love goes beyond breathing
There’s another time and place
I’ll smile when I see your face
I keep in mind…Love goes beyond breathing
If love goes beyond breathing…You’re always in my heart
If love goes beyond breathing…That’s just the place it starts
If love lives forever…Someday we’ll be together
As long as I breathe…You’re a part of me
As long as my heart is beating…Love goes beyond breathing
GEORGE SLADEK
6503 MURDOCH AVENUE
ST LOUIS, MISSOURI 63109
314-353-6503
georgesladek@yahoo.com